It doth seem that, across the way from my house in Henley Street, much activity is afoot. Busy bees are buzzing around and I hear mention of a new art gallery to be called “2be”. ’Tis clapper-clawed counterfeit, says I! My 401-yearlong slumber in Stratford upon Avon has been disturbed many times. Interrupted by thousands of whey-faced clotpoles clambering around my family home. Now there will be something new to entertain and beguile the cacophonous measles. ’Tis said that the place will be colonised by two artists called Padget. Methinks they may be descendants of William Paget, 4th Baron of Beaudesert. That onion-eyed blister was always toadying around with pigments and, on one occasion, painted the Queen. His likeness was so bad that she stripped him of his title and lands but these were restored by The Scottish King in 1605. In 1612, he gave up painting and became an adventurer of the illustrious Virginia Company which had been created under Royal Charter to colonise North America. Paget Parish in the centre of Bermuda was named after him. The Baron died after eating a surfeit of mashed potato and maggot pie and henceforth was referred to as the late Baron “Spud”Paget. These new Padgets have clearly gained a ‘d’ along the way and seem sufficiently more talented than their infamous predecessor. My spies and I will keep this bloggie up to date with their progress and other Stratford matters from time to time so that you can take the long view.

But, for now, I bid thee good fortune and a common-kissing farewell.